My innerWolf
by eapoefreak
Summary: Morgan has nightmares about her changing into a wolf and killing her friends, Mystery...
1. Lupus

I woke up in a pool of sweat, Images of my horrible nightmare reflecting before my eyes. What was that dream all about? I couldn't remember. The only thing I remembered was me, walking in a forest at night. The moon was full and the air was full of scents, scents of prey. Oh Goddess, what's this all about? I've been having these weird dreams over and over again since they started two weeks ago. Every part, every nerve, every muscle in my body was aching. I felt like that night with Ciaran; and I was afraid.  
  
The first time I changed into my wolf form I had almost killed Hunter, my love, mùirn beatha dan. That couldn't happen again, but what if it suddenly happened in front of other people? They'd be afraid, porbably as afraid as I am right now. Then I suddenly realised, to shape-shift you need to do a spell. Yes, I used a spell with Ciaran. That thought soothed me, at least for a while it did, but I was still worried. I looked at my alarm-clock; 06:30 AM, too early to get up, I'd wake my parents and they'd see me all messed up like this. No they wouldn't, COULDN'T see me now.  
  
Luckily for me it was a Saturday and it was the first weekend of my one week holiday. 'I'll take a shower' I thought, I didn't care that much about my parents for the moment anyway; I just knew I felt terrible. So I got up and I walked towards the little bathroom I shared with my younger sister: Mary K. I really hurt to move my clumsy body out of my bed but after the shower I felt so much better. I went downstairs to have some breakfast when I suddenly saw that we had run out of poptarts! I wanted to cry in agony; until I realised it wasn't the end of the world. Still I needed something familiar, something tasty to make me feel better after my usual nightmare. So I opened the fridge and I grabbed a can of Diet-Coke and popped it. 'Ah,' I thought 'how delightful.' The divine beverage made me think about Hunter, and about the way he hated it so. Oh my Goddess! Hunter! I hadn't been able to tell him about my dreams, as proven I alway tend to hide my personal (or magickal) problems from my soulmate. I was always afraid that he'd be mad at me, but instead, he was mostly mad at me for not telling him my problems and for having to find out on his own. I did realise that I could trust him but still it was difficult for me.  
  
I decided to send him a witch message: "Can I come over?" Then suddenly the small detail of it being only half past six in the morning hit me, I hoped I didn't wake him.  
  
I suddenly heard a voice in my head. It scared me until I realised it was Hunter, I was obviously still sleepy "Ofcourse you can come." Relieved as hell, I wrote a note to my parents saying I was at Hunter's place and I'd be back on time for lunch. I went outside to my loyal car, nicknamed Das Boot; I opened my car and got in. It was freezing in there and the nice vinyl seats didn't help much either but as soon as I blasted the heaters everything got hot and more comfortable for me, 'thank the goddess for heating' I thought.  
  
I didn't take long to get to Hunter's place, it always suprised me how fast I pulled up on his drive-up. Hunter was standing outside, obviously waiting for me. I greeted him with a quick kiss 'Good morning, my darling' he said 'Good morning, love' I said in an oh-so fake Brittish accent He laughed 'What's up, is there something wrong?' he asked 'We need to talk' 'Lets go inside' Hunter said.  
  
Normally he lived with his cousin Sky but after breaking up with Raven and having a little sinnful fun with my half-brother Killian she decided to go back to England for a while; so he was alone. I never really really liked Sky, she wasn't really the kind of person I'd choose for a friend but I didn't mention that to Hunter, I don't think he'd appreciate that.  
  
'So, tell me everything' he said. My heart began to race in my chest and I became very nervous but I got myself together 'Well,' I said in a hesitating way 'I've been having these dreams.' 'What kind of dreams?' he asked and I immeadiatly sensed his more serious tone. 'They're about me, I see myself in a forest at night. In my wolf form, just like with Ciaran. And I'm hunting and smelling my prey' I blurted out, I had to tell him; I couldn't hide it any longer.  
  
'Why didn't you tell me this earlier?' Hunter demanded. 'I was afraid, afraid of you being mad at me' I responded, and suddenly he hugged me saying 'Morgan, please, the next time something like this happens, come directly to me.' 'I know, I know' I said and I felt tears prickling my eyes. Before I know it Hunter pulled me in a deep kiss and the feeling was indescribable. 'Taim i' ngra leat' hunter said, although I didn't understand Gaelic I immeadiatly understood the words. 'I love you too' I whispered. And there we lay, on the couch, in eachothers arms. I wished we could lie there forever, an ever lasting embrace. 


	2. Mary K

Chapter 2  
  
I didn't know how long we lay there and I still don't know, but the one thing I do know is that our embrace felt divine to me. Still, I had to go; I'd promised my parents I'd be home of lunch and it was already a quarter to noon. 'I've got to go' I announced, but in a stange way I felt that he already knew. Like our bound had just grown to a new level. 'Go,' he said 'you can't let your parents down.' I felt really for having to go but I had to. 'OK,' I whispered 'see you later my love' and I gave him a quick kiss. Then I got up, stretched my limbs and I walked towards the old, wooden front- door. Suddenly I noticed that Hunter was standing next to me, I was surprised but I didn't know why acutually. 'Call me' he said. 'I will, tonight' I replied. I opened the door and went outside to my car. When I got in, started the engine and blasted the heaters I noticed it was a cold day. The sky was clear and the sun was shining but it was still a cold winter day. While I was driving, I noticed how good I was feeling, it'd been a long time since I felt this way. 'Probably hunter influence' I thought. When I got home, I went inside, and I found the house smelling really geat. Mom was probably making dinner, I couldn't wait! When I entered the living room, she was already setting the table. 'Wow,' she expressed 'you're on time for once' and she smiled to me. I stuck out my tongue at her, ofcourse I knew I was acting infantile but I didn't really care for the moment; I was feeling happy! HAPPY! 'What have you been doing all morning' I aksed my mother. 'Oh, stuff for work,' she responded 'you know, the usual. You?' 'Just - stuff: talking and drinking tea and so on.' 'OK, we're having dinner in a couple of minutes, do you mind going upstairs and calling your sisters?' 'No, ofcourse I don't, I'll be right back.' 'Thanks honey.' So I went up the stairs and I knocked on the door of my sister's room. As usual she was practising the pressure on her eardrum again so she didn't hear me. I knocked again, waited, but no response, so I entered. And I found my sisters lying on her bed, crying. She looked so helplessly, all alone in her room and she didn't hear me enter the room and when she saw me she kinda scared a bit. She probably didn't want me to see her like this, but I wanted to know what was going on. I wanted to help her, but ever since I'd been doing Wicca our relationship wasn't the same. We used to be close, now we seemed distant. 'Hey siss,' I said 'what's wrong?' 'I don't know' that what I understood, the sobbing made if difficult. 'You can tell me, you can trust me you know' I said 'I know, I know,' she said 'I can't help it. I'm not feeling good, I don't - I don't know what's happening to me; I just feel down.' But I realised she wasn't "just not feeling good"; I knew her better than that. 'Oh cheer up,' I said 'it's going to be fine.' And I said to myself 'This isn't good.' And it wasn't but I didn't know it yet at that time; so I tried to ignore it.' 'Come on, it's lunch-time,' I said to her 'go wash up and I'll meet you downstairs, OK siss?' 'Yeah, you go on; I'll wash up, I'll be right there. Go!' she said; but her voice sounded so strange, so totally not like her. But again I ignored it, 'it's just puberty' I thought, but it wasn't.  
  
'Ah, there you are Morgan!' Mom said, 'Where's Mary K.?' 'She's coming in a minute' 'Oh, ok.' 'Hey, where'd dad dissapeared to?' I asked 'Well, he got called in to work; there was some kind of problem with a computer and they obviously needed your father to fix it, he called a while ago to say he wasn't coming for lunch. It's just the three of us.' 'The four of us you mean.' I corrected her and she gave me a curious look. She didn't understand, 'lol' I thought. 'Dagda.' I explained. 'Oooh, yeah, sorry darling.' She knew I was joking but still. Finally, my sisters entered the living room, I was so hungry! I had to eat something, I felt like I'd been doing sports all the morning. But in fact I'd just been laying in the arms of my love, but maybe we'd been exchaning energy of some sort. Something to look up in a Wicca book.  
  
After lunch, I went to my room; I still had homework to make and I didn't want to do it at the end of the holidays. I wouldn't do it anyway and why not now? I had time. The rest of the afternoon passed quite calmy while I was sitting at my desk making my homework: English, maths, chemistry. And it seemed to be an endless stream of work but at 5 o'clock I'd finally finished all of it I decided to grant myself a reward for all of the stuff I'd oh-so-bravely done all afternoon so I called Hunter and I proposed to go see a movie. But then I realised, why not send a witch message ? It's a lot cheaper acutually, and it's even better than a telephone call. Wanna go see a movie? I sent, and immeadiatly he responded I'll pick you up at eight. I didn't think it was necessary to send another one back to him; yay, cinema this evening.  
  
-End of chapter 2, hope you guys enjoyed it xxxxxx Blessed Be (chapter 3 coming soon but I've got a geography assignment so it could take a few days.) 


	3. Sleep kills

My inner-wolf chapter 3  
  
The movie was quite boring, it was about some typical teen-girl being hunted down by a guy wearing a mask. And - how I do not know - I fell asleep.  
  
The wheel started to spin again and my nightmare returned. I was in the forest smelling the smell of my prey. What or who could it be? I wasn't in control of my body, I couldn't do anything. I was afraid, I wanted to scream but I couldn't . My inner-wolf hawled in the night, a long and painful cry. I was running, goin very fast through the forest, where was I going? Suddenly I came to a halt and I saw a couple of rocks, who seemed to be forming some kind of cavern. I walked towards it and I felt the smell becoming more intense. It was a strangely familiar, it was sweet like spring-flowers in an early morning breeze. At that moment I didn't care anymore about who or what it was, I was too just too curious.  
  
The pace of my heartbeat quickened, the wolf side of me was also becoming as excited as I was. So I (or we?) entered the cave. There was a long tunnel stretched out in front of us and I started to run again. New thoughts kept entering my mind. A cruel kind of thoughts, they were about killing, about blood and about eating raw flesh. My wolf-side was trying to take over, but I couldn't let it so I started my power chant "An di allaigh." and I felt my energy level rising, I felt like. like more in control, but I wasn't. The weakness was the same, it was still a dream; lucid or not, I didn't know. It was still a dream. From my Wiccan experience I'd learned that witches often had prophetic dreams. That thought made me shiver. If there was someone out there and I'd hurt him or her - I wouldn't be able to live with myself. 'Just a dream,' I thought 'just a dream.' As I was walking down the corridor I suddenly saw a faint light at the end. I started to run faster and faster until I came to the end of the tunnel and I saw the light, there seemed to be an opening in the roof of stone. It was full moon and I hawled again. I now understood the respect that the wolf had for the moon. Suddenly I heard something. A faint rumour in the distance, and I looked around the hall of stone as my eyes fell on a shimmer: a white object close to the wall. It was moving and muttering something, it was a human being! I couldn't hear it clearly. Could wolves even understand what people said? Maybe not, they probably communicate with eachother in a whole different way. 'Not relevant' I thought. As I neared the humand it became more and more clearly visible. Who could it be?  
  
-(Short chapter, I know, but I had the geography assignment, but I tried, tomorrow chapter 4, I promise, feel free to post comments - Blessed Be)- 


	4. Epiphanies

The inner-wolf chapter 4  
  
It was Mary K., sitting in that corner, with the white gown. What was she doing there? I wondered but then I heard something. A voice, familiar, far way. It was calling for me. 'Morgan, Morgan' and I woke up, fully remembering the dream, not like last time when I'd forgotten . I now remembered every little detail but the image that was mostly in my mind was my sister. 'What was she doing there?' I thought. Maybe it WAS just a dream, for once, nothing prophetic or true, I hoped so. Or maybe it meant that I was putting my sister in danger, I'd done it before. Then, suddenly, reality came back to me and I realised that I was lying on a field of grass, in Hunter's arms. 'Hey,' he said 'are you all right?' 'Mmm, yeah' I answered 'I fell asleep.' 'Well, I carried you out of there, you were making this weird kind of noises. Like some animal. Was it your usual nightmare you told me about this morning?' I nodded because I coudl'nt find the strength to answer, I felt like I was falling back asleep so I got it together and I said 'Don't let me fall asleep.' 'I won't' he said 'common, I'll take you home, can you walk?' I nodded again so he helped me up and we stumbled to his car.  
  
I felt miserable, for about the hundrieth time this month. I really started to wonder if Wicca was good for me, but then I remember mty heritage: being Woodbane, my real parents, Hunter. and I didn't doubt anymore. It was pretty late when I got home, so luckily everyone was already sleeping. I cast my senses quickly to be sure and to my great amazement Mary K. was still wide awake. I decided to go talk to her, she had been acting strange that afternoon. Maybe it had someting to do with my nightmare. 'Hopefully not' I thougt. I stumbled up the stairs as quietly as possible and I put on my nigh- clothes: one of my father's old rugby-shirts and an old short that wasn't for for public view. Then I went to our little bathroom, I brushed my teeth and I went into my sister's room. 'Hey' I whispered 'are you okay?' 'Yeah', she answered 'how did you know I was awake?' 'I just knew, you feel then this afternoon?' 'No, not really. There'something I need to tell you Morgan.' My body froze and it seemed like my heart'd stopped working. 'Uh-ow' echoed through my mind 'not the dream'. 'Hellooow' Mary K. inquired and I woke up from my little councel with myself. 'Yes, yes, go on, tell my everything' I said. 'Well' she started ' I've been having this weird kind of dreams, but.' she paused 'Not like real dreams, like visions, waking dreams' she continued. 'Like movies inside my head, really creepy ones.' 'About what are they?' I asked. 'Well, I don't really know, it's very weird. I'm in some kind of cave with a hole in the roof, and sometimes in the end a wolf appears.' 'How do you mean, sometimes? Have you been having more than one?' She nodded. 'Great Goddess Mary K., why didn't you tell me?' 'Well, I was afraid you'd freak out or start blaming it all on yourself, but most of all I was confused because I'm a Christian and I thought it's a typical Witch thing to have visions. Look Morgan, I'm really confused about what to belive in. I've always believed in god and the church but now with your Wiccan stuff. I know that magick exists. I've even seen you doing it!' And just like after a thunder storm there comes rain, so after her explanation little tears started to dribble down to her cheeks but soon the little tears became bigger and her cheeks became wetter. I saw the sadness in her eyes and I gave her a big hug. Soon we were both sobbing, in eachother's arms.  
  
Strange thougts were racing through my head. 'What if Mary K. would be a witch too?' Then I realised I'd better tell Hunter at once about thise strange thing. It'd raelly shocked me that she was having these "dreams" too and I didn't understand why. Why would the Gods allow such a thing? I know they wouldn't hurt my sister, but still. I had so many questions, I was confused, I was trembling and the only thing I REALLY wanted to do now was going to my bed. Mary K. had fallen asleep in my arms and I lay her into her bed and covered her with some sheets. 'Sweet dreams, sis.' I whispered but I sounded more like a prayer to the Gods to give her sweet dreams and to take these horrible nightmares away. When I got to my room, I fell on my bed and I didn't even bother to cover myself. 'I'll go to Hunter's place tomorrow.' I stated and I fell asleep  
  
(-Let me know what you think guys, xxxx Blessed Be-) 


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